


Just let me go

by soul_wanderer



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Swan Queen - Freeform, Swan-Mills Family, Writer's Block
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-13
Updated: 2014-10-13
Packaged: 2018-02-20 23:41:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2447366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soul_wanderer/pseuds/soul_wanderer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the burden of being the savior becomes too much Emma sees only one way out. When Regina finds her she knows she will do everything to save her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just let me go

**Author's Note:**

> Written with the writer's block sentence "Just let me go" and inspired by very angsty SQ thoughts. Because I feel like Emma is bound to break down at one point or another under the pressure of being the savior for everyone.

She had sensed something was wrong with Emma ever since they had come back home. She had been quieter, had withdrawn herself more and was lacking her usual determination, yet Regina hadn’t been able to pinpoint what exactly was going on inside of the blonde.  
However, when she didn’t return from the bathroom for an extended period of time she decided to check on her girlfriend to see what was wrong with her.  
Knocking on the bathroom door she was met with no response.

“Emma?” She asked. “Is everything ok?” Again no response. Trying to open the door she found it locked and with worry steadily rising in her she opened it with a swift movement of her hand despite their agreement to not use magic at home.  
And that’s when she saw it. Emma was cowering with her back against the bathtub, a razorblade in one hand, the wrist of her other arm covered in blood and tears silently streaming down her face.  
“Emma.” Terror made its way into Regina’s voice yet she couldn’t help but stand in the threshold for several long seconds before springing into action, her heart racing in her chest in fear.

“Oh Emma, what have you done?” Prying the razorblade from her hand she quickly pressed her hand against the cut on Emma’s wrist in an attempt to stop the bleeding.  
When Emma didn’t answer Regina let out a long sigh and moved her other hand onto the wrist as well and Emma immediately realized what she was about to do.  
“Please Regina no.” She cried out, more tears falling down her cheeks as she tried to get out of Regina’s hold.

“Just let me go.” By now she was sobbing and still struggling even though she knew it was to no avail, knew Regina wouldn’t loosen her hold on her.  
“I can’t do that and you know it.” Regina’s voice was soft, quiet even, as she adjusted her hold on Emma’s wrist and let the magic flow through her fingers to heal the wound the blonde had inflicted on herself.  
Once it was fully healed she didn’t immediately let go of Emma as she scanned the blonde’s face.  
“Why did you do this?” There were a thousand thoughts racing through the brunette’s mind but she could still barely comprehend why the blonde would leave her, and Henry, behind.  
At first Emma started crying again, her body shaking, before she was able to form at least a few comprehensible words.

“Everyone keeps expecting things from me. I can’t be the saviour any longer, it’s just too much. I-I just can’t...I can’t do this anymore.” Sobs escaped her throat at her reasoning and she felt shame because Regina would have never shown such weakness.  
Regina on the other hand knew how Emma must feel. She too had lived under the constant pressure of her mother and felt like she would never be able to live up to her parent’s expectations. But she also knew it was that much harder for Emma since she had never had a real support system. Growing up in the foster system nobody ever believed in her, nobody ever loved her the way she deserved to be loved and that’s why, Regina thought, this had been bound to happen sooner or later.

“Yes you can.” This time Regina’s voice was firmer than before and she knew she had to pull Emma out of the inner turmoil she was experiencing.  
Shaking her head and looking down Regina sensed that Emma would need more persuasion.  
“You are not alone in this any longer Emma, do you understand that?” It was hard for Regina to get through to the blonde but she dearly hoped she would listen to her and calm down again.  
“Every time I think it’s finally over it starts all over again.” Emma’s voice is barely a whisper when she finally, finally dares to look at Regina again and this time the tears she cries are hot and desperate and Regina gently brushes them away with her thumbs.

“Come here.” Regina lets out a small sigh, her features softening and her arms opening for the blonde.  
Even after all this time of being with her Regina is still not used to openly showing affection towards another person but she tries, she really does, for Emma’s sake and hopes it will mend her broken heart.  
Hesitantly complying Emma lets Regina hold her until her tears finally run dry and exhaustion takes over while some doubts are still cursing through her tired body.  
“I can’t do this alone.” She meekly whispers, her voice hoarse from all the crying, and Regina can’t help but hold her tight in the same way she did to soothe Henry when he woke up from nightmares all those years ago.

“Please don’t leave me.” Emma is already on the verge of sleep when the words slip past her lips and Regina’s heart constricts but she’s glad too because moments ago she wanted nothing more than to be left alone and it shows her that the blonde trusts her enough to help her with everything she’s dealing with.

When she carefully leads Emma towards the bedroom and helps her under the covers she realizes that even if she tried to she could never leave her and seeing her curl up in bed, looking so vulnerable and small she knew she would never try to walk away from her anyway because she was her happiness and she would do everything in her power to not lose someone she loved again.


End file.
